Tuesday, December 15, 2009

All you need is love, and also these fine items.

Where does the time go in December, kids? Where oh where? I guess we've had a good week of silence in memory of John (many thanks to all commenters to that post, by the way), but Apple Corps must go on! Imagine no possessions, you say? Pshaw! We're in the middle of Hanukkah, so I'm coming to this pretty late (what else is new?), but if you're still finishing that shopping, or just beginning your Christmas shopping, or even if you're one of those smug jerks who finished all your holiday shopping last May-- here's a roundup of some of my favorites of the best and worst Beatles gifts of the season.

Yeah, I know. This is supposed to be a blog about the Beatles' music, not this kind of frivolous crap. So I'll start by saying that the most obvious and excellent gifts for the Beatles fans you know and love this holiday season are either the stereo or mono box set, or Beatles Rock Band, all of which are products with total musical integrity. But I think I've nattered on about those rather a lot already. If you've already acquired all those delicious music-based gifts, you've still only scratched the surface of the amazing merchandise available.

For people who like shiny objects: the Yellow Submarine Jeweled Box.

For anyone who's always felt that Beatles fandom would be way more fun if there were more bling involved, this Swarovski crystal - encrusted Yellow Submarine is the perfect gift. Only 700 were made, which I'm sure makes the nearly $100 suggested retail price completely understandable.

For heavy drinkers: Sgt. Pepper pint glasses.

When the lads were teenagers swigging pints back at the Grapes, they probably never dreamed that their own faces would adorn bright neon pint glasses in the year 2009, never mind that they'd be for sale on something called the "internet." Or, I don't know, maybe that's exactly what they dreamed of. Either way, life is weird. Drink up.

For people who want to get all snuggly with some adorable moptops: the With the Beatles throw blanket.
This is the only way I know of to wake up looking into the eyes of a 23-year-old John Lennon. Without doing something sketchy in Mme. Tussaud's, that is.

For your favorite trust fund hippie: the Love drum money clip.
Also a great gift for the fans of irony on your list.

For the very youngest fans: Beatles onesies.

On December 3, my sister-in-law gave birth to very small preemie twin boys, which has been exciting (they're doing well, but they're still very very small, of course). Once they're big enough, you can bet I am going to send them and their no-doubt-appreciative parents two adorable Magical Mystery Tour onesies. Because indoctrinating the youth is what Crazy Aunt Meg is all about! Besides, I prefer to only be seen with fashionably dressed babies.

For people who are fans of Shea Stadium in two senses: Yellow Submarine baseballs.

Now even jocks can show off their Beatle fandom with, um, baseballs. Chuck 'em at the heads of all the Blue Meanies you see, that's what I say.

For your favorite Beatles blogger: Beatles Trivial Pursuit.

Seriously. I want this. I need to, just once in my life, NOT have my ass kicked by my husband at Trivial Pursuit, and this edition represents my only chance of doing so. Pretty please?

For anyone whom you want to flaunt both your money and your stupidity to: the White Album fountain pen. The 2008 holiday season was rocked by a small kerfuffle on the Beatley internets when Apple Corps claimed that they would release the White Album in a digitally remastered 40th anniversary edition, but then released a colossally expensive 40th anniversary fountain pen instead. There is, you see, a big difference. Fans collectively gagged. If you want to spend $528.95 (yes, really) on a white pen, then go for it. And why don't you make your first act with that pen to write me a generous check, while you're at it? Because, I mean, it's clear that you have too much money.

For those who spend the holidays in warm climates: the Yellow Submarine ice tray.

See, cause it's a submarine, right? So you submerge it in liquid? Get it? Of course, eventually it melts, which is kind of grisly if you imagine little travelers in your frozen submarines. By the way, how you get these ice pieces to actually come out yellow is up to you. (I suggest trying to freeze some Mountain Dew.)

There are, of course, lots and lots and LOTS more Beatles gifts available. These are just what I, with complete wide-eyed sincerity, recommend. My personal favorite site for all Beatles shopping is the website of The Fest for Beatles Fans. It's not just a site for the Fest itself (which has New Jersey and Chicago locations each year)-- it's also probably the largest Beatles store on the web. The selection of Beatles books alone is worth a look. Plus, you can wrap it all with Beatles wrapping paper! (Which I actually do totally, totally love.)


  1. Gee, thanks. I think. I just blew $60 on Beatles paraphernalia at The Fest. Bought my daughter (and Beatles fan) a nifty little Help purse, among other things. Because you know, she really really needed it for Christmas. (I must need my head examined.)

    But you're right about the wrapping paper. Too, too cool.

  2. Does it make me weird if, even though I have no interest in buying it, I thought the price for the crystal Yellow Submarine was actually reasonable?

  3. Different strokes for different folks. None of that stuff means anything to me. Give me the music. That's all. And that's enough. Yea, i know, I'm Scrooge and HumBug.